GROWING UP

One thing I can say about growing up is this: its not what we think. In my early Christian years, I have so craved to grow. I wanted to mature quickly. I wanted to be on fire. I wanted to be smart. I wanted to be strong. In the end, I realized that I wanted everything but God. I was in love with the fellowship, the maturity, the preaching and the knowledge you gain in the circles of Christianity. I never realized that there is only one thing that really matters: God.

In our growth as regenerate folk, no amount of desire, effort or works can truly make us grow. Unless we fully understand that spiritual growth is by the grace of God alone, He will not allow us to move on the the next level. Our God, Who is a Consuming Fire, will never allow us to grow until we have realized that it is by His power alone that we can grow. He will destroy anything, even the good things, that take your heart away from Him or replace Him as your source of strength.

There are many times where the knowledge that I gained took the place of God in my life. You know what He did? He showed me the failure of all my knowledge until I was down on my knees begging for His grace to sustain me. There were also many times in my life where my desires to be matured got the best of me. It was as if all there was to Christianity was growth and maturity. You know what He did? He prevented me from advancing further to stop me from enjoying the power of regeneration. Whenever we take our eyes off Him, He shows up and does what He always does to those He loves: prune. To truly grow means to be pruned constantly by the Vine Dresser. Spiritual growth means to becomes less of this world and more like Christ.

The Lord knows how I deeply desired power in the form of knowledge, supremacy in the form of faith and maturity in the form of emotional discernment during my early stages. During those years, I was still drenched with the world which also explains why I mentioned power and supremacy in such a way. I didn't realize that it was all up to God. I didn't realize that it was all about Him. I didn't realize that I was in the way. I was arrogant and self-centered. I created an image of Christianity thats all about "who is the greatest among us" rather than "who is the least among us". I've went through many roller coasters trips just to understand these truths. I was adamant on doing it my way. I thank God that He is sovereign and that indeed, no stubborn man can bend His will.