MY EARLY CHRISTIAN YEARS

I don't know exactly why but the Lord has suddenly, out of nowhere, flashed memories in my mind of my early life as a Christian. What a splendidly crafted, fun past! Its not fun as in fun but worldly fun. I know I'm beginning to sound like a secular guy but that was really my early Christian life. Fun isn't even an appropriate term to describe it. Still, after getting to know God more and understanding His sovereign will, I can't help but joyfully describe my early Christian years as "fun". I was the most superficial, selfish, worldly and ungodly Christian that has ever lived. I wish I could share some of the stuff I did but its just too embarrassing and besides, I'd rather keep my funny, worldly moments all to myself so I can selfishly savor each memory. I just hope I'll still remember all these things when I get to His dwelling place so I can see His glory in His own work. Or maybe.. I won't remember them anymore because its either no longer necessary or simply not worth the space in my mind. Perhaps after seeing the full glory of the Lord in heaven, I'll just forget everything else and in amazement bend my knee and worship. Perhaps heaven, where the full presence of God rests, may be too overwhelming that every memory I had would just fade or be utterly forgotten because they find no place in comparison to the incomprehensible sight of our lowly Messiah holding the scroll of seven seals.

Its hard to believe that the Lord has brought me this far. Well, this isn't really far. I'm still worldly, fleshly and weak. But I am grateful for all these because there is no better way to see the glory of God than in your weakness. Indeed I have a new nature and my heart has changed a lot over the years but I'm still the same little boy who loved dinosaurs and had an entire collection of toy concrete-mixers. Its just great to look back at all those things you did. Good or bad, troublesome or not, these are the stuff that you did and experienced. There are things that I did that I am not proud of.. sure. But hey this isn't about me, right? This is about God invading my life with His grace and power. If it was all about me, woooh, how I wish to be be dead right now.

Its amazing what God can do in your life. And I know this is just a foretaste of what is to come. How anxious am I to those better days yet to come! But I would still enjoy moment after moment in this life I was blessed with. There's no sense in just waiting for Him. You've also got to enjoy His company here on earth. Preaching, praying and sharing, all in the while experiencing His greatness and worshiping Him. Besides, this life will be my last. Never again will I experience this same life in this same world. After His coming, there will be no more struggles, so why not enjoy struggles while we still can? Such struggles glorify the Lord more than anything else! Angels would trade their lives to experience God's greatness here on earth. They wonder, "What is it like to experience the Lord there in man's world? Is the Lord more glorified there than up here? What is it like to be regenerate or to struggle with the flesh?" I know.. this isn't Biblical but who can tell? Maybe those burning angels indeed envy us, His elect. Why not? We are clothed in the fragrance of Christ Jesus and His love is marvelously revealed on the cross where all our sins were hatefully nailed. Will they not envy us who see the glory of God through our sufferings and misfortunes, which they do not experience? Will they not envy us who are filthy and yet are unconditionally, sovereignly loved and graciously conformed to His image? All I am left to say to God is: "Great job God! How in the world did you domesticate such a beast? Job well done! hehe PS We're waiting for your return! Till you do, we'll do as we're told."