A Prayer Of An Exhausted Believer

ear Father who art in heaven,

Praise be to Your Holy Name! As usual, I am in awe with the mere fact that I can talk to you. I come before Your mighty Throne, that no angel can utter without reverence and fear. How wonderful is it that a depraved man, such as me, can speak to the Great Creator anytime and anywhere without any restrictions. How many people do not understand the value of prayer? The fact that I can seek You Lord and address you as my Father means so much for me that even I do not see Your Hand, I would still be in awe and worship.

Father, move among us. Let Your will be done. Let Your Kingdom come Lord. And if you please, let revival begin in our perishing world for the good of Your elect and most important of all, for the glory of Your Son Jesus, our merciful Lord who suffered and became a curse in our place. Father I ask you to step into our lives. We need You in our land. There is no other hope for us but You. May Your sustaining grace be with us if you please so that our hearts would in tune to Your voice all the time. Move among the nations: raise missionaries, evangelists, teachers, trainers, nurses, doctors, lawyers, engineers, and anything else that will bring honor to Your Holy Name, all for Your glory.

I am so tired Father.. so tired.. My body is starting to give up. My mind feels like throwing up. My heart is starting to breed anger and bitterness over senseless things.. things not even worth mentioning to You, the Holy of Holies. My soul is crumbling and I am lost in my weakness. If it would please You and glorify You more to heal me then so be it! Heal Your servant and let Your Name be honored! But if my testimony and witnessing would be more powerful if I am deprived of Your healing words, if by encasing me in this room of impulsions and loss more people would be drawn to you, if by crushing my soul I would be prepared for heaven or if it would be Your pleasure to damn my remaining ounces of strength, then so be it! Crush me for the sake of Your glory. I am Your servant. I answer to no one but You. I do not respond even to my own command. What torment it would be to me but if that glorifies Your Name more, then I have no say, let Your will be done! You know what's best for me. Like I always say, this is Your show, its no longer mine.

Father, how good it is that by Your sovereign grace, I could breathe at this moment without any interruption. How great it is that I still have a sane mind after experiencing Your glory and love through Your Son Jesus. Thy grace sustains me forever. With that I am in total gratefulness. And if Thou choose to withdraw Thy grace from me, I do not know what will happen. I do not pretend, I am a mere sapling at Your good house. Still, being at Your mercy and being under Your mighty shade drives me to toil night and day. For if I was left alone in control, I would have nothing but loss and despair. All I will ever have is worldly success but how can I call it success if You're not in it? Oh that we men so depraved, after seeing Your holiness, crushes all our resolve. No man can see Your face for it would vaporize his soul. The greatness and power of Your Holy Essence was restrained by Your Son because You hath loved us even though we were not, after the fall, Yours. You freed us from that bondage, with that I am forever in awe. Thy sovereign grace, if it did not pull me out from the darkness, bounded my nature in chains and delivered me from the evil one, I do not know where I would be. A prisoner of grace am I! What a beautiful, everlasting love you have. If You left me on my own, I would have faced the judgment I so deserved and I would have suffered, as is Your justice and in that I have nothing to say against. But You hath called me from the darkness that I may share in Your wonderful glory! Or at least take a part of that righteousness that You had been keeping for man through Your Son Jesus.. With that I am content. I might moan and cry as a foolish being of little faith, here and then, but I am content of having known You and how much more in sharing Thy greatness! As if we men deserved anything from you.. still isn't it through this that the fullness of Your love is manifested? Angels watched in horror as You, in flesh and blood, was nailed to a a vile cross while You had done nothing wrong but sincere and perfect goodness. Through this great work, we had become the envy of angels and bearers of a righteousness that is not ours. We had become jars of clay, constantly molded by the Potter's Hand.. all for Thy glory.

You had loved the world and how many times did You want to cradle such civilizations but we would not let You. No one did. From the beginning, after the fall, apart from Your unconditional election that is based on no human merit, there can be nothing left for us but judgment. But Thy purest of pure! Pristine are Your deeds! You hath called men, shared to them freely the glory of Your Son and even if you have kept such righteousness on Your bidding would be no offense. The sovereign God is sovereign, with Him all things are possible. I am awe, grateful and madly seeking to lean at the pillars of Your Temple.

I pray Father for the advancement of Thy Kingdom and Your Holy Gospel that delivereth man from his own damnation. I pray for the continuity of the miraculous work of thy Spirit here on earth. Oh that sinners can become saints through Your Son! What words can man form but "PRAISE YOUR NAME!" I pray for the arising of Your disciples among the nations, that everyone would be kept safe until the Day of Your Coming in glory, power and majesty. I do not pray that You strike down the wicked, for how am I different from them? Have mercy on us Father. I pray for Your mercy and beg for Thy gift that no one deserveth. Apart from the grace, love and work of Your Son who lives, there can be no hope nor reconciliation for us. So move among us and shake the mountains with Your glory so that everyone will hear Your thundering voice that there is hope only through Him. Reveal Your magnificence under the protection of Thy shielding cloud, so that men and woman, slave or free, oppressed and poor, wicked or deceitful.. makes no difference, see Your mighty love, believe, worship yet still be sane. All these are my prayers but You have the final say, let Your will be done! That I can even request is more than a privilege to me, still let a prisoner's voice be heard in Your halls above.

Great Lord, I ask You to give me the strength I need to survive this short life of mine, till the day You want me to see the fullness of Thy glory in the essence of Your Truth. Until that day that all men's hearts would be bare before You, sustain me with Thy grace and sovereign power. And also all those who You have chosen to be a part of Your Kingdom, let Your hand be with us as You use us for your glory and praise. Reach out to those who haven't heard and grant them faith and repentance so that they can seek Thy glory in the mountains and worship, falling flat on the ground, speechless with no other words to utter but Your greatness.

In Jesus Name, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, Amen and Amen!