I Am Truly Weak And I Praise God For It!

Everyday is a real struggle for me. My thought life is pathetic. I say to myself, "Oh Lord.. how weak and feeble am I? How dark is the core of my being? Help me for I am helpless. " I can't help but praise God for my daily struggles for it is through my everyday darkness that the light of God is shown in fullness. If not for my struggles, God's power and glory would not be revealed. I put all my hope that He would finish the work that He began in me.

Whenever I offend His great Name, I am reminded of my inferiority. And because of this, the stench of my pride is pushed back into the abyss of my former self. If God had not sovereignly planned these struggles, I would not be who I am today. I have been praying that He would heal me of my eternal diseases. But now? All I want is His will and desire for my life. If it pleases Him to suffer me so that I would continually depend on Him then by all means let Him smite my crumbling soul for the glory of His Name. It would hurt of course but God's discipline is always favorable to man. He does it sometimes as a reminder, as a warning or as a means of correction. At times, He also does it to reveal a sinful stronghold in my life. But most of the time, He does it so that I would bend my knees in awe. He does it so that I will focus on Him alone and worship Him in the glory He has revealed.

I would not trade my struggles for anything less I make them idols or God burns them from my memory. It is through my struggles, from simple to complex, that I was able to get to know God more. To most, I probably sound like a holy masochist who desires suffering and discord. This is untrue. I desire God alone. Its just that whenever I fall in my weakness, His love and mercy becomes more evident. Whenever I lose control, I learn to depend on Him and latch on His great robes in repentance and worship. I glory in my weaknesses and sufferings for it is through my disabilities that God's holiness is manifested. However, despite the suffering we endure when we preach the Gospel or live in conformity with the truth, Christianity is not all about persecution or suffering for the Name of Christ. Though our Captain of salvation was nailed on a tree, He did not suffer for the sake of man alone or as a mere example to what Christians are to be. He suffered so that we may be slaves to Him, doing what He has commanded us to do and worshiping Him in the richness of His glory. We were bought not only so that we may be free from the condemnation of sin, but also so that we may dwell in His presence and experience Him for the rest of our lives. God is the beginning and end of all things. He is the Alpha and the Omega. He is the everlasting Truth. He is the one might Lord who knows no frailty.

I am truly weak and I praise God for it!